The victims are the ones who have to speak out, because no one else will say anything.

–Kara Brown, Keep It

The #MeToo movement is a call from survivors to recognize that sexual assault happens frequently.

Black Lives Matter is a call from black people to have their humanity recognized and valued by society and the law.

Both of these *movements are powerful and changing the social conversation, but they cannot solve the problems to which they bring attention, no more than mass incarceration can be fixed by the 2.3 million inmates.

What can we do? It’s the question I see constantly on Facebook and Twitter. As White America becomes more and more aware of the injustices plaguing our country, we look for answers that will help us sleep at night. We read the right books and attend the local summits and we spend our Saturdays registering voters. And all of that is not nothing, but it’s not enough.

Fixing these problems requires sacrifice and work that no one wants to do.

–Kara Brown, Keep It

We must be willing to sacrifice our greatest gift: our privilege. Our comfort. Our ability to blend in when we want to and stand up when we feel like it. In other words…

Guys don’t want to be the buzzkill. … We’re tired of being buzzkills.

–Kara Brown, Keep It

My husband is a feminist in that he believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. He doesn’t think rape jokes are funny. He understands the need for equal representation in positions of power and influence. But my husband doesn’t like to make waves. He doesn’t like to be confrontational. He likes to hide under the axiom of “you can’t change anyone’s mind on Facebook.”

“But you can,” I tell him. Precisely because he has nothing to lose, his voice demands more respect from his peers – the other straight, white, middle class men who maintain our current status quo. No one will call him hysterical or a libtard or a feminazi.

“What am I supposed to say?” he asks.

“Be the buzzkill,” I say.

Be the person who doesn’t laugh along at the rape jokes. Better yet, be the person who says, “that’s not funny.” Or, “that’s not OK.” Or, “that’s not just or right or fair.”

Be the person who says, “I won’t work with you if you don’t treat others with the same respect that you treat me.”